Taken For Granted
by angeL-hart2
Summary: Squall has everything and is happy about it. And he only wants to have fun but Rinoa thinks she is being taken for granted thats why he left him and runs to Seifer. Now, Squall regrets everything and will do everything to have her back.
1. Default Chapter

CHAPTER 1:   
MISTAKE  
  
SQUALL  
This is life! I have everything I could ever wish for. High position, wealth, fame, out-going friends, and a sexy girlfriend to slave over me. Its been 6 months since we have defeated Ultimecia. Cid appointed me as the highest commander of Balamb Garden. And of course, everywhere I go, people recognize and notice me. I'm given so much respect that basically, I could just sit around and people will do as I say. It's like Im the ruler of this world!! We'll sometimes I show people that Im really not interested or Im not into these things but I have to admit, I really love the attention I'm getting these past few months.  
  
Sure, we still have mission every now and then which are totally exhausting. But I reward myself by going to some bar with my friends and hopefully, hooked up with some chicks! Of course, Rinoa doesn't know that. She just thinks I'm just a busy boyfriend working my ass off to save the world. I love her but it just gets too boring sometimes to be with her and only HER all the time! She understands sometimes, but most of the time she just whines everytime I go home late, I dont have time for her, I didnt call her, and so on.... She is just too possesive... and I hate it.  
I cant help it if some hot girls are flirting with me in the bar, if my face is very well-known around the world, if headmaster Cid appoint me with a lot of missions lately, if I want to spend some time with my friends instead of her. This is my life now. I kinda like it. Although she doesnt understands, she just have to deal with it......  
  
I sure have changed.....  
  
  
RINOA  
Its almost 1:30 in the morning and Squall isnt home yet. I couldnt sleep. I think about him all the time. I wanna know where is he, and what he's doing. I've been told that Squall has a hobby of going to bars, getting drunk and flirting with other girls. I wanna know if its true but everytime we discuss the topic, he just shouts at me and said that he doesnt want me to mind his business, then he bails off. I dunno whats wrong with him. We shared a wonderful and romantic relationship at first. We seemed to be so in love with each other. But lately, I notice some changes in his personatily. He seems to be hot-headed all the time. His temper is so bad. We rarely see each other coz of his work but I notice that he's giving a lot of his time to his friends. Sometimes, I wonder if he still loves me. The thoughts of him getting sick of me enters my mind often. But i never want to think of it about him coz I dont get sick of him and I still love him so much like before and nothing has changed with my feelings since the very start of the relationship.  
  
Speaking of that, Seifer hasnt given up on me yet. He is still courting me like crazy eventhough he knows that Im with Squall. He seemed so sincere. I have to admit, I had a crush on Seifer before and thought it was love, but after the incident with him being the sorceress knight and turning to real psycho made me want to take back my feelings for him. I feel I aint safe with him thats way I pushed back all "love" for him away. That why, after he was accepted back to Garden, I try my best to avoid him and not regain all my feelings for him. But he seemed to have changed, for the better. He keeps following me and nagging me to talk to him. He keeps questioning Selphie and Zell, my two closest friends about me. Of course, my friends doesnt trust him yet so they didnt give too much information about me. Sometimes, I think that what doing (avoiding Seifer) is right, after all, I already have a boyfriend and I dont believe that I still have left feelings for him. But too many times.... I think to myself, that those feelings... never left..  
  
  
SQUALL  
Its already 4:30 in the morning when I came home last night. So Im still very sleepy. But so early in the morning, Rinoa came in barging in my dorm. I feeled annoyed. I used to like it before everytime she did that but back then I wasnt too groggy to wake up yet. She invited me to go with her to Balamb town to buy some stuff. At first, I really didnt want to, but then I saw this hurt in her eyes, and I dont want her having doubts with me. I fell a little guilty coz I have another girl kissing my lips last night. I dont want her suspecting these things. I love her still so much but I dunno... Im really weird.. I dont think that what Im doing is cheating after all, I need to pleasure myself once in a while. And I still have this fear of taking somebody seriously, then eventually you'll lose it then you'll left with nothing. I guess thats what Im going through right now thats why I dont want to take her too serious and making foolish things to avoid myself from being hurt. Im not really a bad guy.... I have my reasons.  
  
After 10 minutes, Im already all dressed up and ready to go. Rinoa patiently waited for me in my dorm. We walked out holding hands and I noticed that shes smiling a different smile. So sincerely happy...   
  
Of course I feel a little flattered knowing that I had made someone happy just by being with that person... I wonders sometimes if what Im doing is right. Torturing others for the sake of his happiness. I know Rinoa loves me very much. But I doesnt want to build my world around her coz I knows that i might suffer in the end. But looking at Rinoa right now, I regrets some of my doings. But I wont let Rinoa see that. I want Rinoa to think that Im not concern. Sometimes, I really have to admit that Im having fun seeing that she's suffering because of me... Pretty devilish of me.... but I have my reasons.......  
  
  
RINOA  
Squall agreed to go with me to Balamb Town. I never expected for him to come along but of course, I have to convince him a little to show some enthusiasm. But I know that he still wont come along. But with a help of a miracle, Squall agreed to come with me. I guess it made me feel that there's still chance for this to work out. So here am I, holding his hand, wetre on our way to Balamb Town. Good thing there wasnt too many enemies to fight because when Squall was appointed Commander, he has orders to dispose as much enemies as possible. I guess this was the result of his work. We didnt ecounter even a single enemy on our way. Somehow,it made me feel relieved knowing he's really doing his work instead of hanging around some other girls.   
This day gave me hope that things will get back to normal. I think Im beginning to trust him again and leave my doubts behind...  
  
Balamb Town.. Still as peaceful as ever. We were greeted by Ma Dincht on our way to the store and commented us on being a lovely couple. This cheer me up a bit more. And then we go on with our trip. We stopped by the store coz I have to pick up a few things I need. Squall used to hate to come with me when buying or shopping things coz Im a bit picky but this time, he seemed to be helping me out with shopping. It cheered me up again. I guess I dont understand Squall sometimes. is mood seemed to change every minute...  
But he has a good mood today. And I have to take my chances.....  
  
I finished with my little shopping and Squall even carry the grocery bag for me. He smiled a little and gave me a quick peck in the neck. Squall isnt the sweet and romantic type but this day hes completely out of his character... But I like it......  
  
Just when we are leaving a store, a girl dressed in a striped spaghetti strap and mini shorts (as in MINI that it almost looked like her panties) entered the store. She looks like a bit surprised to see us.  
  
Then she says, "Oh hi! I never expected to see you here."  
  
"Excuse me, do I know you?", I said back.  
  
"I wasnt talking you..." she said shoving me off. "Hi Squally.. how are you.. I kinda miss you.. and our intimate moment together.."  
  
What?! What is this girl saying? I stand there looking like a fool watching this complete stranger flirt my boyfriend. I stare at Squall with straight and angry look almost like telling him to explain. He looked nervous.  
  
"Ah... R-Rinoa,... t- this is Ch-Cherry..... Cherry, Rinoa..." Squall introduced.  
  
"Oh hi Rinoa, you must be a sister of my Squally....right", says this totally pathetic slut.  
  
"Sister? no! for your information, Im Squall's girlfriend! And what the hell do you mean by YOUR Squally?!",I said not being able to control myself.  
  
"OH! Thats very surprising. You see, I work in the bar, and Squally is one of my regulars... And he just told me... like a couple of days ago.. that he doesnt have a girlfriend... And hes all free to do some things.. if you know what I mean... And oh Squally..." she turned to Squall and said... "Getting a girlfriend sure is fast after you told me that girlfriends are just a waste of time... well.. anyways, dont forget me my love... and what we are planning to do AGAIN this weekend.. bye.. See yah"  
  
Before leaving, she gave Squall a quick kiss in the cheek. All I can do there is stand there, frozen with my mouth hanging open from what I just heard and saw!   
  
  
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What will now happen to the couple after Rinoa finds out what Squall has done????  
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What do you think of the fic so far? Let me hear from you! Please R/R... So that I can follow up with Chapter 2. Stay tuned. And please dont flame me.. just tell me what you think without flaming please... Thanx!   
  
Dont forget I need you Reviews if you want to proceed to Chapter 2. 


	2. Chapter 2: Loss

CHAPTER 2:  
LOSS  
  
  
RINOA  
Without saying a word, I grabbed my grocery bag from Squall, and walked out of the store and walked as fast as I could. I didnt even bother to look back. But even so, I know he didnt even follow me, or even try to explain! What a pathetic guy he is! I couldnt help it but fresh hot tears roll down my cheek. I half expected him to follow me, try to clear things out, say sorry or something.. that way there might be a way I could have forgiven him. But he didnt!!!   
  
I guess my suspicions are right all along. He didnt love me... He never loved me!!!!  
  
I went straight to my dorm room. I ignored everyone in sight who ask me what's wrong. Its so obvious I have a problem. Everyone can tell. But I didnt say a word to anybody on my way to my dorm. When I reached my room, I locked the door and cried my heart out.  
  
I cant believe he did that. All this time I thought I didnt understand him because he has work. I thought Im the one who has a problem. I thought I was juz being nuts because Squall cant spend some time with me. But after I finally realized that I shouldnt be selfish, that I was just over-reacting of his actions, I found out that its no work he's doing! He's just hooking up with some sexy b@!%$ every night!   
  
WHY????  
  
  
SQUALL  
She found out. Damn! Im stupid! But she also has problem there! She DIDNT even let me explain. She just walks out on me embarrassing me to the store keeper. I wouldnt be a fool enough to follow her like a sick dog down the street saying my "sorry's" in front of a lot of people, while she just keeps going and ignores me. She has to understand that I have a reputation to take care of and I cant do some embarassing things in front of them. You know how girls act. They want men to follow them so they will feel good about themselves. No way Im gonna do something like that.  
  
And whats her problem anyway? I just did something that I can enjoy. Its not that I like Cherry. She's just gorgeous and hot! And no man can ever resist her seduces. Rinoa wont understand that. She didnt understand men.   
  
She has to be atleast happy that I lend her my time to go to the store. But she doesnt appreciate those SIMPLE things I do for her. Isnt the love that Im showing her aint enough???  
  
We have to atleast talk about it. If she doesnt want to clear everything, then thats her loss....  
  
Im going to her right now....  
  
  
RINOA  
I drifted asleep while crying.....  
The knock on the door woke me up. I opened it and saw Squall.  
  
"We need to talk", he said.  
  
"There's nothing more to talk about, I know everything", I try to close the door but he pushed it open and he went in.  
  
"Look, you have to listen, I'm famous, and you know that. So a lot of people know me. I cant help it if that girl is just trying to break us. But you dont have to believe her. That will just let her win because she has successfully destroy us. But you wont let her, will you?", after saying that he leans to me and tries to kiss me but I pushed him off.   
  
"Its the same excuse the last time! And the time before that, and before that! Squall, I know your just putting me on! You probably think I dont notice but Squall, Im not blind! You are good with excuses and words and sometimes those words and your sweet talks just flipped me off and let me forget about your mistakes and you end up getting away with it. But Squall, I have already learned my lesson. You know Squall, I love you very much... I can take everything your putting on me. But to cheat on my like that, its unfair! You've been using your work as an excuse not to be with me... and to bed some girl you meet at the bar. And to tell her that you dont have a girlfriend coz its just a pain for you!!"  
  
Squall didnt answer even a word. He didnt even defend himself. But even if he did, all the word that's gonna come out of his mouth are lies.   
  
Then I slowly say.. "And since your girlfriend is just a pain for you, I think that, we should break up.. Im sorry"  
  
"You think so?............ then FINE......", those are his only words before he left and slammed the door. I couldn believe it. He didnt even act as if he still doesnt want to break up! Its like its more of his pleasure!   
  
My eyes began to water again and I began to cry again.... Our relationship's has been in a lot of ups and downs... There comes a point that we broke up temporarily. But he begs me to come back after I tries to break him up. And he makes promises that he'll change. But I always pity him (or should myself) and end up going back to him.. coz I have to admit, I cant afford to live without him.. But today, it looks like this is it.... He's doesnt want me back........  
  
  
SQUALL  
Rinoa and I is officially over. I tried to explain which of course is half-lie. I dont think well get back together like before. (Or maybe she'll be begging me to take her back) Either way... its her loss.. not mine.. I could get any female I want. She wasted her opportunities to be with me. A lot of girls has been begging me to be their boyfriend but instead, I courted her. Its a mistake for her to dumped me. She'll regret it.......  
  
I went to the quad to be alone. I have no more girlfriend. I should be atleast happy. The rope that been tied in my neck has finally been cut..... I saw Nida, my bestfriend on my way to the quad and he decided to go with me.   
  
"Rinoa and me just broke up", I told him the news right away.  
  
"What?!, that's terrible, men.. I'm sorry for you"  
  
"No.. that's ok.. She thinks that having fun once in a while for us men is bad.... She found out about Cherry", i told him.  
  
"I told you, men... You'll never get away with it.. Of course its bad! You gotta understand female..", Nida said with concern.   
  
"HAHAHA! You're funny, Nida.. You, the king of Joker?! Suddenly the most serious guy?! hahahah... I havent seen you like that before", I laughed histerically then go on.. "But you know, Im so sick of Rinoa being so possesive me.. She's too caring , you know what Im saying? Its annoying sometimes... I want some freedom.."  
  
"But why cheat on her?"  
  
I dont really have anything to answer but I managed to say "I dunno.. maybe coz I dont wanna focus on her too much."  
  
"Why? of course you have to focus on her.. She's you girl.. Dont you love her?"  
  
I know the answer but I wont tell Nida about it.. Its for myself to keep. Even he's my bestfriend..  
  
"........."  
  
Nida go on "You know, I never had a girlfriend. But I wished I will have someday.. And when I finally found her, I swear with my life that I'll take care of her.. Squall, you have something that I dont have, dont lose it."  
  
"What do you know about girls, I can practically have any girl that I want and I have girls chasing me.. Its too boring sometimes."  
  
"You have a big-head Squall... but you know, Rinoa is different.. To tell you the truth, I used to have a crush on her before. I envy you coz she's mad about you.. She love you very much that I'd do anything to have the special attention she gave you... But then I realize that I cant have her.. I try to push my feelings away.. coz your my bestfriend.. But it hurts for me to see her being taken for granted by you. Squall, as a friend.. here's my advice.. Rinoa is special.. very special.. dont lose her now."  
  
"Well Nida, she's all yours!" I said half-heartedly as I left him alone in the quad. But as I walked away, I heard him shouted  
"I cant! You're meant to be! Dont be foolish enough to let her go!"  
  
Nida is so sick! Rinoa and I are through. I dont like it that much but I dont hate it either.......  
  
  
RINOA  
I sat in my bed staring at the ripped pictures of me and Squall. We'll never get back together. I know I still dont have the strength to be without him. I wasnt ready yet. But he took it seriously. That just proves that he doesnt want me anymore.   
  
I was getting ready to throw away the pictures when the phone rang. I hesitated. I let it rang for a while. Then I finally answered it .  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey! How are you?", said a male voice from the other line.  
  
"Who is this?", I asked.  
  
"Its me Zell", said the voice.  
  
"Oh hi Zell!" my heart sanked. Im kinda expecting that Squall would call.   
  
"How are you doing? I met Nida on my way to the cafeteria and he said that you and Squall has already broken up. Is this true?"  
  
"Uhmmm.. yeah", suddenly tears came out of my eyes again.   
  
"Rin, are you ok? Were you crying? You want me to kick his ass?" Zell asked.  
  
"No, Zell that's ok." I admire Zell being a good friend but sometimes I just want to be alone.  
  
"Uhmm.. Zell, could I just be alone right now? You know.. Its not that I dont want to talk.. I went through a lot. You know...."  
  
"Rin, thats ok. I understand. Just take care of yourself. Ok? Call me if you need me... bye", Zell said.  
  
I was all alone in my gloomy room. I cant take the silence. I decided to take a walk. I left leaving my messy room full of scattered pictures. I dont think I can throw them right now......  
  
I decided to go to the secret area that Squall showed me that he said was shown by him by Quistis. Quistis and I didnt get along that much. I know that she likes Squall. And he chose me. Quistis probably hates me but I dont really care. I have Selphie and Zell as my best buds. Maybe Quisis is rejoicing right now after hearing the news or maybe they'll be together. Thoughts of Quistis and Squall wants to escape my mind. I dont really want to think about them or HIM at all.   
  
I reached the said secret area. I didnt go here because it reminded me so much of our fond memories with Squall. I think this is the best place for a lonely destroyed young woman like me. I went to the balcony and stare at the sight of Balamb Garden. Seeing it makes me want to leave the place. I cant bare to live there knowing that my ex is only a 2-minute walk away.   
  
Just as I was starting to cry again. Somebody touched me in my shoulder and handed me a white handkerchief with a manly scent. I took it then wipe away my tears. I turned around to see who it was. I was surprised as the man I saw standing next to me!  
  
  
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Who is that man who gave Rinoa the handkerchief? Is it Squall who is ready to reconcile with her?  
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Tell what you think! Please R/R!! I will really appreciate it. Stay tuned for Chapter 3!  
Please more reviews please!!!!!! The more reviews, the faster I'll update it. 


	3. Chapter 3: Confusion

CHAPTER 3:  
CONFUSION  
  
  
RINOA  
I turned around to see no other than Seifer!  
  
"What are you doing here?",I asked after wiping my tears with his handkerchief.  
  
"I followed you. I heard you and Squall finally break up."  
  
"Yeah...", I said then burst into tears once again.  
  
"That's ok... Im here", he said then he took me in his arms.  
  
I wasn't able to control myself. I like the feeling of a man's arms comforting me. Even if it was Seifer, the very same man we were fighting before. But I couldn't help it. I need someone. And he was here....  
  
  
SQUALL  
I tried my best to sleep. But I cant. After the talk with Nida, it seems like my conscience wont let me get away with it. I know I was being harsh on her. But I dont have a choice. It feels good that someone need you. I want her to feel that way. And it also feels good that she's mourning with my loss. I'm her everything and she's probably regretting the fact that she dumped me. But soon, maybe she'll be begging me to come back to her. I know she wont last. (Just as me.. to Ellone) She'll be seeking for me......  
  
The next morning, I feel somehow good, like something good is about to happen. I went to tour the school like it was my first time here. I stopped by the cafeteria first so I can take out a nice breakfast. I saw Zell then greeted him, but he didnt say a word. He just ignored me like I was a complete stranger. Oh well, maybe he just didnt notice me. He's too busy munching on his hotdog.  
  
After I bought a hamburger, I decided to go to the library. I dont really like reading books. And I havent visited the Library for like months. The last time I was there was when Rinoa asked me to go with her coz she's gonna borrow a book. She's so into books especially the romantic novels.   
  
I was thinking, what if she's there. After all, she love the library so much. What if we "accidentally" meet there. Oh well, I'll just say Im just visiting the library. Or maybe I could come out of an excuse. Like Cid told me to research on a secret GF that has never been found or something. Oh well, might as well go there now and say what comes out of my mouth.   
  
The library is so dull.   
  
(but what am I here)   
  
I heard some girls chatting in the reading section. I looked around the place. (no sign of her) I went to check out the novel section.   
  
(but still no sign of her)   
  
Well, Im not to to look for her here.. Definitely "NOT".  
I notice the librarian looked at me like I was lost or something. I try to find an excuse why I am here. I quickly grabbed a book and pretended to read.   
  
(Maybe if I stay a little longer she'll show up..)  
  
Ten minutes have passed and I was still sitting there in my chair holding the same book that I got earlier with still page that I turned to earlier. This is so boring. I never really like the Library. But I went here anyway not sure of the real reason Im here. Im intimidated by the librarian who is still giving me odd looks like I dont have the right to be here.  
  
That's it. Im leaving  
  
I left the library and couldnt decide where to go next. It really doesnt matter coz I have no more 'boss' who'll interrogate me where I've been and what did I do. I can go to Cherry's house if I want to. But I decided not to. I decided to go to the quad instead. That's where Selphie and hmmm.... usually hang out. Yeah.. That's right. That's the perfect place.  
  
So I made my way to the quad.   
  
I was coming closer to the stage, when I already heard voices. Its Zell's and Irvine's. Maybe Selphie is here,too.   
  
(She's probably here also)  
  
I dont really have no idea what to say.  
  
"Hi guys! What ya doin? Did you see my ...... uhmmm.. my earrings? I seem to have left it here last night?" What a lame excuse. Of course I know where my earrings are. I put it in my drawer this morning. I dunno... I just dont have anything to say.  
  
Zell answered coldly, "No." Then turn around to face Irvine and Selphie again.   
  
I scanned the place and I didnt see her. She probably isnt with her friends today. I stand there as if waiting for them to ask me to join them. But instead, they return to their business as if Im invisible. Then I finally blurted, "Ok, well see yah guys, I have to get going."  
  
There was no reply. That's odd! Not even Selphie with her usual cheerful mood bother to greet me or atleast say goodbye. What's their problem? This is suppose to be a good day....  
  
  
RINOA  
I woke up this morning with my eyes so sore from all the crying last night. But the loneliness seem to have left a little. I didnt woke up with mmy usual bed or in my usual room. Im in Seifer's room. Yeah.. Thats right. Im really here in Seifer's room. But we didnt do anything like what you're thinking. He slept in his couch instead. Of course the moment I stepped in here last night, I was still scared to come with him. But he was so hospitable and he listened to my problems with sincerity. He notice Im kinda nervous so he assured me that he wouldnt do such a thing. That way, he let me feel relieved....  
  
We talked a lot last night. I got to know him better. He lives here in an apartment in Balamb Town because he wasnt allowed to stay their in Balamb Garden because of the past incident. Headmaster didnt trust him anymore. But he was allowed to take classe in Garden. He was re-admitted only because he agreed to do community service. But thats it. He can only study there but not actually live there like we do.  
  
He said his life has been terrible the last 6 months. He wanted to change but a lot of people dont trust him anymore. He was feared by a lot thats why people avoided him. He doesnt have friends except for Fujin and Raijin who are still very supportive. But they were sent to Galbadia Garden and was appointed instructors. So they rarely get in touch. He was so lonely. I pity him. I was the only person who believes him........  
  
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He asks if he can come in. I said 'yes'.   
  
"How are you? Feeling any better?", Seifer asks with concern.  
  
"Yeah.. I guess...", I tried my best to smile. But instead, tears came streamin' down my face. "No, you're not. I can't afford to see you like this. It hurts me. tell me what can I do to lessen the pain." Seifer inch closer to me feeling uneasy if he's gonna hug me or what.  
  
"I dunno, Seifer.. I don't know if I should still go on in living. My world tore apart when we broke up. My life has no more meaning. Squall is my everything. But to him, Im just nothing! And he's gone now. I dunno what to do.....", I cried again, for like, a millionth time since we broke up.  
  
"Seifer.... I'm lost... Did I do the right thing? Or I should have been more patient on him?"  
  
"Rinoa... Squall's a jerk. He did the cruelest thing a guy could ever do to you. I know you love him. And I have no competiton compared to him. But I just want you to know... that I'm here always.. for you.", With these words, I'm convinced that Seifer has changed. And here's with me. Maybe I'm just blind all along. I refuse to see that Seifer's the one for me. After all, he's my first love. But after all the past incidents, I was afraid of him. But now, in my time of grief, he's here. Ready to listen to me. Im coming face to face with a new Seifer. A better Seifer..... Then I made a quick decision.....  
  
"Uhmmm.. Seifer.... Can I stay here for awhile?"  
  
  
SQUALL  
I can't believe it! This is like the most boring day ever! I spent the whole day touring the school without finding anything "special". Well Im finally single again. And if that isn't fun enough. But I wonder why I wasn't having fun yet. Well.. its just one day! And maybe right now, Rinoa is crying.. regretting everything.. Good for her. I know she wants me back. But if ever she asks me to take her back... I wont.. yeah.. that's right... let her cry, mourn, grieve...  
  
Walking aroung the campus makes me tired. I hurried to my room to get some rest. I saw my phone. I pressed a button and it says... "No messages." hmmm... That's really odd. What could she be doing right now? I didnt see her all day long. Maybe she didn't bother to get of bed. Maybe that's right.... There's no more possible explanation for this......  
  
(What am I doing?? Why am I thinking about her. It's not like I care... right??? I don't need her...... She needs me. But why doesn't she look for me?????? What's happenning? This is not what I expect it to be.........)  
  
Maybe tomorrow...........  
  
  
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Days passed... It's been quite some time now since we broke up. And I never saw her ever since. Is she dead? Commit suicide?? nah.... She's not that type.. But where could she possibly be???? Did she left? How come I don't know? I'm not going to her room to check her out.... no way.. let her suffer......  
  
"Hey men! Wanna go out with us in the bar?", Nida asked.  
  
"I'm not in the mood.....", I answered.  
  
"Oh c'mon! I notice your'e not going with us lately. Your'e missing a lot, men! Let's have some fun."  
  
"Alright.....", It's not that I really want to... It's just like I have no choice. But maybe going to the bar will change my mood... probably... probably not....  
  
The bar is as noisy as usual. I dunno.. but I used to like it. Now, I feel irritated. (What's wrong with me??)  
My friends are talking something that I'm not seemed to be involve. It seems like I have a world of my own here. I like bars... the sounds, the beer, the hot babes... almost everything.. But now, I look at it as some dull place full of boring people. Of course, it's not quite true. But..... it's so weird.. something's obviously missing... Moments later, my thoughts was interrupted by a female dressed in a skimpy bikini as if she was on a beach.   
"Hi! Gorgeous! Wanna have some fun, tonight?",. she asked seductively.. She's hot alright but I don't think I'm in the mood.. Not until I find the anwers that are continously circling my mind.   
  
"No thanks...", then I left her looking petrified as if she was ridiculed.  
  
I spot a lonely girl sitting by the end long table drinking a beer. She has this same long, brown hair as Rinoa's.... I noticed my feet is taking me closer and closer to this woman. Until I was completely behind her. I wasn't exactly sure what to say. But I feel I have to need to talk to her...  
  
"Excuse me.... can we talk?"  
  
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What's Squall gonna say? Are they gonna be back together again? stay tune and find out!!!  
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Please... I need to know what you think... Reviews please.....................................  
Chapter 4 is up so stay tuned for it!!! 


	4. Chapter 4: Regret

CHAPTER 4:  
REGRET  
  
  
SQUALL  
The girl turned around. I was petrified! She wasn't who I expect her to be. I guess the girl saw how surprised I was. I finally blurted,  
"Sorry, I thought your'e someone else."  
Then I went straight outside the bar away from those annoying people. Who am I kidding. I'll never see her here..... She hates bars. I decided I need some fresh air. And so, I didn't went straight to my dorm. I went to the secret area to think... I don't know what's wrong with me. As usual, there a couples here who are making out. They seems so happy, happy that they are with their loved ones.... For some reasons. I envy them. (But why??? It's not like I have anything to ask for.........)  
It's been exaclty 3 weeks since I last saw her. Nobody told me where is she, or what's her condition... that's because I never dare to ask anybody... (I guess I'm just afraid that they mght see through me...) For them, I don't need anybody.. And that's just the side I'm gonna show them....  
But I'm wondering... since she left or disappeared... I changed... I used to have all the fun when wer'e together.. But not with her.. with other things.. That's why I can safely say that I don't need her.. But why like this???? She's not here and I wasn't suppose to be affected..but the truth is.. I wasn't having fun at all....   
  
I guess its a good idea to accept it... even just to myself..... things has changed when she dissappeared.............  
  
My days are so dull, I wake up for no meaning, my life is completely boring, and I see her wherever I turn! Everyday I just hope that things will get back to normal, like when my alarm rings in the morning, it will automatically followed by Rinoa opening the curtains allowing the sun to shine in my face. Then she's gonna ask me to go somewhere.. Sometimes, I'm gonna go with her anyway.. but most of the time I will refuse but it will just lead to arguments which really piss me off so early in the morning.... But now, it doesn't look so bad anymore..... (atleast I get to see her, still) But now, I don't even get to hear her voice.  
  
I remember our first days together since we become a couple. We were so romantic and all mushy. We used to sneak out of our dorms late at night just to see each other in this secret area. We use to be one of these couples who are making out here on lights out sessions. And how could I forget the times she treats me like a baby when I went home awfully sick from a mission. Damn.. I feel like I'm in heaven! She was so thoughtful.... I always like the feeling of being treated like a king. (I guess I'm lucky to have someone like her to take care of me...) A lot of people has given up on me.. they think I'm being so cold. That's why, they didn't even bother to pay attention to me. But Rinoa.. she didn't gave up on me even I use to ignore her a lot. I guess that's what I like from her. She changed me...   
  
But lately, I treat her like shit! I want to feel that I don't need her. It's not that I don't really need her... I'm just afraid.. afraid of needing her too much.. of loving her too much. The truth is, I love her so much! But would't show it..wouldn't accept it, even to myself. But I guess there's no more point in hiding it from myself. I love her, and that's the truth. But like I said, Im scared... That I might need her too much.. like Ellone. All my life,I rely on Ellone. but then, she dissappeared. And what do I have left?? NOTHING! My world completely shattered! I was lonely for the longest time. I waited for her, but she never came back. Then I finally give up.For years, I wasn't able to move on. People treat me like a snob. I guess I am. I try me best to avoid all the people around me. I became anti-social. But they don't know what I've been through!   
It hurts like HELL!!! To rely on someone so much! Only to find out that she's gonna leave you in the end. Nothing lasts in this world.. A lot of times, I asked myself, what's the point of loving someone. To build your world around her and to make her the center of your universe, but in the end, she's gonna be taken away from you.  
That's what I'm trying to avoid all these years. I don't think I can recover when something like that happens again to me. What if Rinoa just leave me all alone in the end?! I never want to go through that again! That's why so many times I just try to be harsh on her. To avoid being hurt even it means hurting someone, someone whom I loved very much. I never want to give her the pleasure of seeing me destroyed, and crying. I guess what I'm trying to do is beat her from doing that to me. And so I did. I successfully did! But was I happy????  
  
  
  
  
The answer is NO....  
  
  
  
I'm still alone and lonely as ever. I was thinking of making her suffer in exchange for the pain my 'sis' cost me. That no more person is gonna treat me like that. So I want her to suffer before me. I always wanted to know that someone needs me the way I needed Ellone before. And so I acted like such an asshole. Thinking that its helping me get my victory and revenge at the same time. But my plan back-fired.. I was still very unhappy. .  
  
  
A lot of people looks highly at me. They look at me as a Lionheart. But the truth is.. I'm coward. I never want to risk my feelings only to find out that I lost in the end.   
  
I lost Rinoa, the only person that I really learned to love.I was a fool. Just like what Nida said. That's because my stupid pride took over my heart. So now, I'm left with nothing again.   
I can't go on like this. I can't just stare at nowhere and think what I just have then lost. I took for granted the time she was with me. And now, she's gone... not because she decided to go, not because she has to go... its because I sent her away. Now, I'm full of regret. My heart can't forgive me.   
I realized that I need her, still....... And knowing that I'm just gonna lose her later is a lot better than not have her at all. I just have to risk everything for her. Even it means getting hurt again. I realized that its impossible to avoid hurt. The least you can do is to fight it and be strong... but what I'm doing is the exact opposite. That's why my life has no meaning.. Not this time. I decided that I'm gonna fight for her.   
  
  
I'm gonna take her back....  
  
No matter what...  
  
If only she'll give me a chance...  
  
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How?????  
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Chapter 5 is up! So don't worry.   
Sorry if this chapter is short and just full of crap Squall thought. I designed this Chapter as what Squall is hiding all along, to clear some things that Squall is thinking. The reasons why he's so cold and annoying in the first chapters.  
  
But anyway..... I appreciate all your reviews.This is just my first fic. And I never really expected reviews coz usually, first timers sucked! (not all) So just keep those reviews coming. It inspires me to write a better fic. Thanx!!!  
  
R/R!!! 


	5. Chapter 5: Flowers

CHAPTER 5:  
FLOWERS  
  
  
RINOA  
It happened all so fast.And before you know it, Seifer and I were already an item....  
  
It was just 2 days ago....  
*I was standing outside admiring the splendid view from his balcony when someone asked if I could be disturbed. Of course eventhough I'd rather be alone I gladly let him interrupt my course of thinking yet another useless topic. Its probably much better to talk to Seifer than let myself lead to a breakdown over my break up with Squall. I'm not yet over him. And I don't I will ever be. But it doesn't mean I wont go on with my life. I can, but in a miserable way. And here's Seifer. Always ready to hold back my tears who are threatening to fall any minute. He's really a changed man. I admit, I don't completely trust him ever since my stay here. Its not like I have a choice. This is the only place I can run to... whether I trust him or not...   
But now, I can safely say that I DO trust me. I was actually amazed with the attitude he's showing me. For the past few days, he has been completely supportive, he hadn't even tried to take advantage of me, he respects and understands my decisions, actions even when I get to yell at him for having a bad day.  
I blame him sometimes for my misfortunes and failures. But now, I regret for having to do those things.  
Anyway, enough of my endless thoughts again. Here am I standing an inch away from the man who was the object of my thoughts earlier.  
  
"What are you thinking?", Seifer asked not knowing he is the answer to his question.  
  
"Oh nothing...", I lied.   
There is moment of silence. I felt uneasy.... Then finally blurted...  
"Why?"  
Seifer seemed confused. "What?"  
"Why are you being so kind to me? I mean we treat you as an enemy, a threat, and yet you just don't give up on following me even on my darkest hour? Nobody has been like that to me.".  
Seifer looked at me strraight in the eyes. "Because Rinoa... I love you".. I was shocked. Squall has been having trouble saying that to me. "But I'm not expecting you to love me back. I mean, compared to Squall, I'm nothing. But all I want is for you to give me a chance. Just one chance...."  
  
Then he leans to me and kissed me. I didn't resist. *  
  
That's where it all started. I know you might think that I'm rushing to another relationship just right after a terrible one. I can't help it. I just feel so alone. And Seifer is there to give me the attention I need. I don't really love him yet... but maybe I will finally learn to love him someday.. meanwhile.. I'll give him a chance.....  
  
  
SQUALL  
Another week had passed. And I still haven't heard about Rinoa's whereabouts. Im feeling hopeless. I find the courage to ask Zell where she is. But he said he don't know.   
"She left the Garden but didn't tell where she's going. Just leave her alone, ok?! I know wherever she is right now, she's happy or atleast still finding her hapinness. So don't bother her anymore." Those words of Zell's replay continously on my mind. It was obvious he was still furious of me for hurting Rinoa. I know why.. But now, I'm trying to make up for my mistakes before. But I don't think he wants to give me a chance.  
  
I miss her.... If only I didn't take her fo granted. Maybe she's still with me. All I need is just one chance to prove her.... But she's nowhere to be found.  
  
------  
  
The decided to go for a walk in the town.My friends are out-of-town and I refused to go with them. Probably because, I know I wont find her there. So all alone, no set direction, I walked letting my feet took me wherever they want. I passed by the store where Rinoa found out about me cheating on her. I hate that place. Seeing that place makes me sick... If only I could turn back the time......  
  
I also passsed by the flower shop where I remembered taking Rinoa there and promised to give her any flower of her choice. For the first time, like in days, I smiled. I saw a vision of Rinoa picking and smelling the flowers one by one. Sigh.. Wish I could touch her now...  
  
Wait a minute... this is no vision, its real! Rinoa IS there! For a minute I thought I was just seeing things, probably because I think of her too much. But to my surprise, I realized that what I'm seeing is definitely real. A gush of excitement run through my spine.  
  
"Hi Rinoa...Miss me?", no..no.. that's a bad approach.. how about? "Hey Rinoa, I kinda miss you.. Do you think we should get back together?".. no.. too straight-forward.. How about if I ask just her to talk.. that could work.  
  
With a stored courage, I took a step forward.. then another.. then ano.....  
  
WAIT!  
  
Something stopped me. A figure of man who is slightly blocked earlier by some baskets of flower came out of its position and walked slowly to Rinoa then bend down and GASP.....!! He did something I never dare imagined he would do. He kissed Rinoa... right in my very eyes!!!!!!  
I took a better look of the strange man who is messing with MY girl.   
  
(He somehow looks familliar.....)   
  
But at my distance, I can't clearly identify the man. I hid in the nearby post to have a better view of who is this man she's been going out with....  
  
With a few seconds of examination, I realized the awful truth!!   
  
ITS SEIFER!!!!  
  
  
RINOA  
Earlier this day, I was going over my stuff to fix the mess I made inside my mini bag on the day I left Balamb Garden. Of course its a mess coz that day, I was just too miserable that's why I just throw there all my junks without trying to put them in an orderly manner. I was in a hurry to get out of Balamb. And up to this day, I never dared to open it thinking it will only bring tears to my eyes because most of the stuff there would only remind me of Squall.   
Today, I find the courage to open it and to atleast organize my things and put some of them in my new room. My eyes caught my diary which I haven't updated for a while since I broke up with Squall. I find myself opening it to the page where some dried petals of flowers placed between the pages.And below the withered petals, were dates. I used to keep all the flowers that Squall had given me and wrote what date he had given it to me....  
  
I try my best not to cry again.  
  
The door opened behind me.   
"What are you doing?" Seifer asked then sat beside me.  
"Oh nothing I was just organizing my stuff, you know... It's quite a mess."  
"It really is a mess." Seifer's eyes wander around then finally stopped on the pictures that wer'e still scattered inside the bag. Those pictures are the very same pictures of me and Squall that I hesitated to throw away weeks ago. He picked them up and looked at them one by one. I was kinda nervous of what he was thinking. Here I am sitting next to my new boyfriend while he scans my pictures with my EX-boyfriend. I would like him to think that I'm completely over him by now.(which I dont think is true) But after seeing those pictures that I seem to treat as if they wer'e my treasures, I know that he's thinking that I'm still mad about Squall. (which to honest, is a little bit true)  
He put down all the pictures with a blank expression as if he only the most normal thing in the world.  
  
"What's this?", he said as he spot the notebook in my hands with the withered plant in it.  
"oh that... Their just dried flowers that Squall had given me long time ago." I answered immediately telling the whole truth thus hurting him.  
"I see....", he said trying hard to hide the pain but failing miserably. I felt guilty. I shouldn't have told him that. After all, we are already together and bringing up my past will only damge our relationship.  
"So.. it kinda reminded you of Squall", he continued in a normal expression desperately hiding his feelings. I can tell he really wants to know if I still love Squall. But I can't tell him the TRUTH or else it will just hurt the poor guy. That's right, I still love Squall, and no matter how hard I try, the feelings just don't go away. So I have no choice but to surrender to what my heart says.  
But I can't afford to lose Seifer.....  
"No.. I just love flowers." I answered half-lying, half telling the truth.  
  
Then there's again a moment of silence again......  
  
..................  
  
He finally said, "Hey, you want me to buy you some flowers?", he asked excitedly.   
I kinda like the idea. Thank God he didn't take the fact bitterly......  
I smiled then say "Sure!".  
  
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What about Squall? How is he gonna take it???  
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Again.. thanx for all your reviews... they were all so nice.(but im not saying you can send flames! I hate flaming)  
I appreciate it, especially the ones who had reviewed them more than once!!   
Anyway.... what do you think of it?? bad??? good??? please tell me and MORE REVIEWS.  
I'm working on a better outcome...  
  
R/R 


	6. Chapter 6: Meetting Once Again

CHAPTER 6  
MEETING ONCE AGAIN  
  
SQUALL  
I stood there not being able to think of what to do. I was mortified! So this is what she's been doing all the time she's gone. Maybe that's why she broke up with me! She don't like me anymore. She realized what an asshole am I and she found another guy. But not just another guy. Its SEIFER!! My mortal enemy and rival. It's like she's deliberately hurting me like this! After one "serious" relationship she just jumps to another?! Girls aren't like that!! Most girls cry a lot and grieve a lot after a relationship. But maybe she's not like most girls. She's not serious about me. She didn't love me the way I expect her to be.   
  
And of all people?!! Seifer?! Boy, she really knows how to hurt a guy.  
  
Maybe they have already been seeing each other behind my back even before. And now that she's been freed, she runs to her Seifer!! I didn't expect it to be like this! All this time I've ben regretting myself for hurting her. I thought she's so miserable right now.. And I decided to come to her and renew myself. But heck NO! She's been having the time of her life without me!!!  
  
(I don't really want to think about this)  
  
DAMN!  
  
I watched as the two flirt with each other as if they knew I was watching. After Seifer purchased a bouquet of flowers, he handed them to Rinoa then got his wallet from his pocket and gave the store keeper some bills. I can tell that he bought the most expensive and beautiful flowers in the flower shop to impress Rinoa.   
(I also buy her flowers although only those who are not so expensive. But atleast I still do. And besides, its already enough to show my thoughtfulness.)  
  
They began to walk away from the flowershop. I decided to stalk them to find out what they have been doing. I try to stay away as far as possible but still try to caught up with them. I don't want them to see me. I blend with the townpeople so as not to be noticed. After a 10-minute walk, they went in an apartment. I supposed this is where Seifer lives becauseI know that he wasn't allowed to stay at Balamb Garden courtesy of me of course. The headmaster actually decided to give Seifer a chance to stay at our garden but I protested coz he just might cause some trouble in the campus. Being a respected leader, they approved of my suggestions.  
  
I figured the Seifer might be planning to trick Rinoa on to something, After all, Seifer doesn't do a thing unless he has some evil scheme to it. I don't trust Seifer. Even some students said that he actually change. They don't know Seifer the way that I do. Since childhood, he has been a hobby of my pain. It maybe a way to get revenge on me. Maybe he's using Rinoa or maybe Rinoa is with him all along. Either way, I know he's up to no good.  
  
My head began to hurt. I still cannot take the fact that Rinoa has dumped me in exchange for Seifer........... There must be some explanations to this. I can feel that Rinoa still loves me. Maybe.... Rinoa sees what a jerk am I then left me... But why Seifer???!!!! This is insane... My eyes begin to water. But I try my best to keep them from falling. I can't cry here... I can't breakdown here where a lot of people can see me.  
  
But I can't let him have Rinoa!! I have to get her back somehow! I can't see anything inside the house. But it pains me seeing them making out behind the windows I've been staring for a couple of minutes now. I have to stop my imagination for imagining stupid things. I slowly walked away walking backwards still not letting my eyes leave the window of the apartment.  
  
(I'll come back, Rinoa... I'm going to get you back.. Eventhough you have already hurt me. I can't afford you to be with somebody.. epecially with that Seifer.)  
I whispered as if Rinoa can hear me.. then wipe the tears in the corner of my eyes that almost escape to my cheeks....  
  
  
RINOA  
Seifer has been really sweet to me today. He bought me the most beautiful flowers I ever saw. I know he doesn't have that too many money coz he's not really a high-class SeeD yet... and so his salary is not that high. But yet, he bought me this expensive flowers just to cheer me up. Squall on the other hand, is the highest commanding officer therefore has the highest salary but he would never ever waste his wealth to buy me any special gifts. And this Squall, is so insensitive. He definitely doesn't know how to please me. He just knows how to please himself. And most of the time. he acts as if he doesn't have a girlfriend! He only goes out with me whenever he has a freetime, which is a very rare case, coz he'd rather be with his friends (or some hot girl) rather than me. And whenever I'm with him, for him its seems more like torture that he has to stay with this bratty, totally boring girlfriend of his. While Seifer, probably the sweetest, most romantic, and most sensitive guy ever.   
  
What did I see in Squall anyway? The most obnoxious, pathetic, lying creep ever!!!  
  
And yet..... I AM still madly inlove with him... Yes.. that's true... I ca't seem to take my mind of him.. eventhough I know his out there in his desk, still have some working to do, or probably in bed with some other girl........ While Seifer, just a room away... but.............  
  
(What am I doing???)  
  
(I've got to stop comparing them..)  
  
I'm with Seifer now, he wouldn't like it if he finds out that I'm still so into Squall... I have to stop my feelings for him. I have to forget about him. I have to move on with my life... with Seifer...  
  
He broke my heart. I love him with all my heart leaving nothing to myself. And yet,this is what he had done to me. I tried to be patient with him a lot of times thinking he might change. But he didn't.   
  
Leaving him for good is probably the smartest thing to do. It will teach him a lesson not to take me for granted.  
  
What? Who am I kidding? He probably still hasn't noticed that I'm missing. He doesn't give a damn about me. I'm just one girl he used for his sexual desires. And now that he had already used me, he's treating me like trash.....  
  
(I should stop thinking about him if I'm gonna have to move on!)  
  
I stare at the flowers Seifer had given me. What adorable and pretty flowers they are! I have to atleast pay him what for what he has done for me, I thought.....  
  
I went outside of my room and found Seifer reading his notes. It seems like he has a big test coming up for tomorrow. I can see with the look in his face. He looks serious and carefully absorbing the facts from his pad.   
  
His face lit up when he saw me.  
"Oh, hi Rin... anything you want?"  
  
"Nothing, I'm okay.. I'm just trying to see what you've been doing", I replied.  
  
"Oh this, its nothing, why? You want to go out or something?"  
  
I do want to go out with him. Maybe sat by the shores of the beach. But it seems like he's studying and trying to hide that fact from me. He knew me too well, he knows when I want something. But seeing him earlier, I felt guilty if I force him to come with me. He hasn't have any enough studying lately coz he's busy making me happy.  
  
"Oh, c'mon.. what are you doing? It's gotta be something.."  
  
"Well, we have a test tomorrow at the garden, and I was just reviewing these notes. I already know them, so if there is something you want, just tell me."  
  
I was amazed on how he put other things behind just because of me. He just gave some lame reasons so that I wouldn't notice. But I knew that this weekend, this is the first time he opened his notes. So I figured, he still don't know a thing. Instead of pursuing him, I realized I'd just let him study. He needs it.   
  
"Well, how about if I make you some snacks while you study. I don't really want to bother you. So just stay here here reviewing your notes and I go to the kitchen so as not to bother you."  
  
"But you're not bo....." I didn't let him finish so I cut him off.. "I insist! And besides, your'e gonna like what I'm going to feed you."  
  
Feeling atleast relieve, he put his eyes back on to his notes. And with that, I disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
-------  
  
"CLICK!!"  
  
The oven finally sounded. My cookies are done. I hope Seifer will like it. Cookies are my specialty and I want Seifer to taste it. I pulled a tray from its position then put my cookies to a bowl then place it to the tray. I grabbed the glass of juice that I made earlier and put it to tray together with the bowl of cookies. This will probably put Seifer's stress away. After all, I made the best cookies back in the garden!!  
  
I saw Seifer's hand by his forehead with his eyas closed. He must have dozed off. I arrange his notepads to order for itis quite a mess. Suddenly Seifer looked up.  
  
"I thought your'e sleeping."  
  
"I was just resting my eyes." Behind his stressful face, he never failed to give a smile.  
  
"Why don't you take a break for a while? Here, I've made this snack especially for you."  
  
"Thanks." He grabbed a cookie then took a bite. Then he smiled more....  
  
"Mmmmm.... did you bake this? This is like the best cookies ever!", Seifer said excitedly.  
  
"Of course.. you deserve it..", I said sincerely.  
  
He grabbed me in the hips with his free hand and move closer to me, with food all over his mouth, he whispered "I love you, Rin.."  
  
I wiped his mouth with the towel in my hands then said, "Me, too......."   
  
I will eventually forget about Squall...I definitely will.... I said to myself......  
  
  
SQUALL  
I walked hurriedly to the corridors of the classroom poking my head with every room I passed by looking for Quistis.   
  
Where is that Quistis? And why does the headmaster have to assign me to deliver these papers to her anyway? There are lots of other students standing there beside him. Why always me. This is just a lame task to do. And anybody can do it. He doesn't need a SQUALL LEONHART to deliver these test papers to Quistis.  
  
Usually I just follow his orders without complaining. But lately, I seemd to be more grouchy. I know why... I've been like this ever since Rinoa left. *sigh*.. how I missed her.   
  
I finally found the room Quistis is staying. I waited by the door trying to get Quistis' attention who is busy explaining something to her students. One of the trepies, finally informed her that I was calling for her. Quistis turned to me and sighed with relief like thinking 'thank God the papers finally arrived'.. Its test day today and these students are already 10 minutes late because of me. Despite her annoyance for the tardiness, Quistis managed to smile and say 'thanks'. I just rolled my eyes and walked away. Quistis still has this thing for me and probably more than happy that I was the one who had to deliver the papers.  
  
I was walking with my head down low when somebody came running from behind. A student who is probably late.. I thought. I looked forward only to see Seifer running away before dissappearing to one of the classrooms.  
  
Seifer?  
  
Visions of him kissing Rinoa came back to my mind. I realized that I'm clenching my fist as if getting ready to punch a boxer. I'll kill him if anything happens to Rinoa.   
  
Wait a minute.... if he's here, then probably Rinoa is all alone to his apartment! This will be a good chance to talk to her. I desperately want to get her back. Obviously, Seifer and Rinoa are already together, but I don't care. She's mine in the first place. Hope the headmaster allows me to leave the garden for a while.  
  
----------  
  
"Alright, but make sure you'll be back as soon as you can." I sigh with relief as the headmaster mentioned these words. He's ear is still stuck to the telephone. I never expected him to allow me. I have lots of unfinished tasks latelty coz I was bothered with Rinoa's dissappearance. But instead, the headmaster concluded this short conversation by allowing me to go. I can tell that whatever they are probably discussing is probably important that's why he doesn't want to be bothered.  
"Thanks!" I left the room but the headmastr didn't seem to notice it....  
  
I change to my best strolling clothes, sprayed a lot of perfume, combed my hair a million times, polished my shoes trying to come up with a mirror image into it. Its like I was going to a high-classed party! I kinda liked it though. I hope Rinoa gives me a chance.....  
  
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I looked at my watch, there are still two and half hours before the students are be dismissed. I'm only a block away from Seifer's apartment. But I can already feel my heart racing of nervousness. The beating in my heart goes faster as I came closer and closer. Until the apartment came in to view. At that sight, I hesitated.   
  
I can't do this? What could I possibly say to her? Maybe she's happy with her life now. Maybe she doesn't need me anymore.  
  
But I looked at my life right now. I'm so miserable. I have to do this.   
  
I go back again taking steps closer to the apartment. This time, much bigger and faster steps. Until I find myself directly outside Seifer's apartment. I swallowed hard before placing my fist inches away from the door.  
  
*Knock-Knock!*  
  
  
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What do you think will happen????  
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Well??? What do you think????? Do you like it??? Please Review!!!  
Thanx for all your reviews and opinions!!! I appreciate all of them!! Love you all!!!  
And don't worry, Squall won't take Rinoa back so easily... that bastard!! hehehe....  
Chapter 7 is comin up!!!  
  
R/R 


	7. Chapter 7: Another Chance

CHAPTER 7:  
ANOTHER CHANCE  
  
  
RINOA  
So far so good... I have a feeling me and Seifer are going to get along just fine. Now that I think about it, maybe Seifer is the one to make me happy. Since yesterday, everything has turned out okay. I haven't think about Squall for the past 24 hours. Great improvement. My relationship with Seifer is going better every minute. He slept late last night just to utter sweet words at me right afer he studied for the test. I know he was really exhausted that time but he never forgets to keep me as comfortable as possible.  
"You know you really need to rest early, you'll need it for the test tomorrow." But Seifer just said the sweetest things......  
"Don't worry, as long as I have you as my inspiration, I'll surely ace that test!"  
*Sigh*  
Thinking of those words made me blush... And how passionate he kissed me until I drifted to sleep in his arms... What a night...  
  
*Knock-Knock*  
  
The knock on the door bring me back to reality once again. I looked at my watch. It's just 9:30 in the morning. Seifer just left 45 minutes ago. All I know is the test should last for 3 hours. hmmm.. That sure was fast. Well anyway, I sure am glad that Seifer's back. I kind of miss him already. I hurried excitedly to the door thinking of giving him a welcome back kiss.  
  
My sweaty hands reached for the knob, until I can feel them slowly turnng. I opened the door expecting to see Seifer with his gorgeous smile...  
  
But gasp!!! I was surprised on whom I see outside of the door!  
  
  
SQUALL  
I was stunned for a moment looking at Rinoa's face once again. I missed her face. It's like its been years since I last saw her. A part of me is telling me to embrace her and kiss her right here right now to show her how much I love her. But the other part of me is reminding me that I've cost her so much pain and so I atleast have to say my apologies first.   
  
"Rinoa......"  
  
She herself cannot utter a word as if she had seen a ghost that has been dead for a long time. But her surprised facial expression turn to angst and hatred.  
  
"What are you doing here?", she said breaking the silence.  
  
"I came here to see you." I said grabbing her right hand.  
  
"Why..........?"  
  
"Why?..... Because I want to take you back.... I can't live without you..", I said sincerely.  
  
I took another step closer to her. My hands in her face then leans closer to her motioning to kiss her. I can't resist anymore and I know she can't, too. As our lips about to met......  
  
"Squall, let go....", she said while pushing me away.  
  
"What? Why?", My mouth still left hanging open in shock. I can't believe it.   
  
She didn't say a word for minute. Her face looks confused and was unable to explain. I have to know why. I only been weeks since we broke up. I know she still loves me. She'll love to get back with me. Unless........  
  
"Tell me why?"  
  
"Squall, I'm with Seifer now. And I'm happy with him already... Sorry Squall.... "  
  
Seifer?! So they ARE together. Of all people!! Our mortal enemy?! The person who had threatened to destroy us, Balamb, and the whole world?! That stupid sorceress' knight??! And especially.... MY rival?!!! This is insane. She couldn't possibly have fallen for that bastard.  
  
"But Rinoa, you've got to be kidding! You're gonna dump me for him?! How about US?? There's just a minor misunderstanding. You couldn't just give up on US and run to that BASTARD!!!"  
  
"How about US? When is there an US??? It's just all about YOU!! When were together, you NEVER ever show me how special am I to you! I've never felt that you love me! Im just some kind of woman who have to serve you whenever you fell like making use of me. For you I'm just your sex toy and when your already sick of me, you're just gonna left me alone in the corner! I'm never your girlfriend! You just have all the fun you want, sleep with some bitch in the bar then take me for granted. Then you're gonna come here, saying all sorts of crap, telling me you love me, you need me, and you want to take me back??? How am I gonna believe you....."  
  
I was speechless....All she said was true.. But its only now I realized that.. I've been taking her for granted the time she was with me. And now that she's gone, I'll come searching for her. But all I ask is a chance. If she comes back to me, I'll swear with my life that I'll take care of her.   
  
"I...I'm sorry... but please.. give me a chance... I'm nothing without you. Pleeeease....", I said with pleading eyes almost want to cry.  
  
Rinoa wiped her own tears and was trying to be strong.  
  
"I'm really sorry.. Its too bad you only realized it now. I'm with Seifer and he's the one who's gonna make me happy."  
  
(That Seifer again... I wonder if she really loves him)  
  
"Tell me, do you love Seifer..?" I almost regret saying those words. The answer might kill me. I can't take it if she REALLY loves Seifer... I just can't!  
  
"......... Yes, I do.." she replied. I can tell that there's pain in those words.  
  
"But you can't!!! You don't love him! You only think you love him because of what happened to us!! You only want to forget. But Rinoa... I'm already here. Let's start with the beginning.. I promise you, that I'll take care of you no matter what. Please.... I'm begging you...."  
  
We are both crying now. Its been a while since I cried in front of anybody. But now, tears voluntarilly roll down my eyes. I just can't lose her. I won't be able to forgive myself.   
  
"I'm really sorry.... Squall...... Its hard for me to find my happiness. But now, I did. I decided to move on.. My happiness now is Seifer... Now, please ... get out of here now! And don't come back here again.. Let me be..."  
  
She tried to close the door. But I was too strong for her.   
  
"I know you still love me.. C'mon don't lie to yourself......"  
  
But she keeps on pushing the door with a lame attempt to win against me..  
  
"Do you love me?? Answer! If you don't love me, then I promise.. I'll get the hell out of here and I won't bother you ever again... Just answer it..."  
  
She stopped.. I was too nervous to here her answer but with her silence and the tears in her eyes... I have a feeling that she still loves me.... She wanted to be strong.. but failed miserably.  
  
"I don't......."  
  
......................... What???? .........................................  
  
She slammed the door in my face. This time, I didn't stop her.. She didn't love me anymore. The shocking reality bit me... Suddenly, my world completely shattered... I was so dissappointed...... I was lost. My life lost its meaning with just two words she said.....   
  
  
RINOA  
I said I don't love him.. I wonder if that's what I truly feel.. But if it is, why am I like this....  
I cried beside the door knowing that Squall, is just on the other side... How I wish I could take back those words.. But now, its too late. I have to forget him...  
  
Earlier this day, I thought I was already happy. With Seifer in my side... I thought I have successfully forgotten Squall, that I don't love him anymore. Then one twist of fate sent him knocking on this door.. breaking everything that I have tried so hard for...   
  
Once again, I fell in love with him........  
  
I tried to show him I was strong without him. But in the sad reality, I'm not... I need him so bad... I wonder if what I did is right. The path I chosen is staring me at my face. But I can't take the first step. I wonder what will happen if I take the other path. Will I be happier instead guilt still came haunting my mind?   
  
I had a clear chance to get back to Squall.. But this time, my mind take over than my heart.. I refused to do so. I told him that I'm happy with Seifer already. But why like this??? Is he right that I was lying to myself? Am I lying? How I wish I would know...  
  
-------  
  
Moments later, Seifer arrived from his test. I didn't realized the time past by so fast. I looked at the clock. It's already been 2 and a half hours since Squall showed at our doorstep. *Sigh* I'm thinking about Squall again. Seifer was saying something and I realized that I'm not listening...  
  
"..................So I think the results of my test isn't so bad, don't you think...", Sefer asked while untying his shoelace.  
  
"Hey.. are you listening to what Im saying? It seems like your mind is on another planet..."  
  
"Uhmmm.... y-yeah.. of course...", I said not knowing what he's talking aout earlier.  
  
"Nonsense.. C'mon.. I know you have a problem.. You can tell me...", he looks really concern, but I just can't tell him that my ex-boyfriend who happens to be Squall, his rival, showed up earlier this morning asking me to get back together.   
  
"No.. its nothing..." Seifer made a face as if telling me he doesn't believe me..  
  
"Really!", I said, trying to give my best smile.  
  
"Alright.. if you say so...", he went up to me then give me a warm hug......... but not as warm as some other guy can give me........  
  
  
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IS IT REALLY OVER FOR SQUALL LEONHART AND RINOA HEARTILLY?  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
You'll soon find out!!!!   
hehehe...   
btw.... REVIEWS!!!  
i love all of your comments!!! keep on reviewing puh-leeeezzzzz!!  
tnx...  
chapter 8 is comin' up!!! 


	8. Chapter 8: Back at Garden

CHAPTER 8  
BACK AT GARDEN  
  
  
SQUALL  
  
"That's the eight bottle already, how long are you gonna be like that?"  
  
I wasn't paying any attention to what Nida was saying. Nothing matters for me anymore. The meaning in my life completely dissappeared.. just like that.... It has already been 10 days since...  
  
"Do you love me?? Answer! If you don't love me, then I promise.. I'll get the hell out of here and I won't bother you ever again... Just answer it..."  
  
"I don't......."  
  
My eyes are beginning to water again. But Nida is just beside me. I can't let him see me cry. I tried to push back and all the pain and hurt I've been going through right now. But remembering those very same words makes it hurt even more. It kept replaying on my mind. Now, I looked like a misunderstood loser. My hair are a bit longer, I haven't shaved in days and so my goatie are practically showing. I'm always drunk and sometimes missed taking a bath. But I don't care what othes think of me. It doesn't matter anymore. The headmaster is dissappointed in me. He said I need a break for being the highest commanding officer and let Zell took over for awhile. But for me, it seemed more like firing me for the job. But its not my biggest loss...  
  
It is officially over for me and Rinoa. And there's nothing more I could do plus the fact that she loves Seifer. I have nothing. And I can't bother her anymore. She wants me to leave her alone. What am I to do? I have no more direction.  
  
"Hey, Squall, are you okay?, you just completely ignored my the past 15 minutes."  
  
"Just leave me alone, Nida!, I want to be alone."  
  
"But Squall, you can't stay here forever! Let's go home! You're so drunk already. That's enough." he said grabbing the beer in my hands.  
  
"What the hell is your problem Nida?! Why don't you mind your own business and leave me alone?!", I was so pissed with him already that I pushed him in the chest.   
  
"Well, sorry for being a FRIEND Squall!" he said obviously running out of patience then walked out of the bar.  
  
I must have gone nuts. My friends are the one falling victim of my temper. I refuse to listen to them and instead turn them away. But I can't do anything. I am so mad with the world....  
  
  
RINOA  
*Knock-Knock*  
Oh sheesh.. who could that be? so early in the morning.. I picked up my robe and covered my body. Seifer is still asleep. So I just head for the door and not bother him.  
  
"Excuse me, I need to speak to Mr. Seifer Almasy." A middle-aged woman said looking concern and serious.  
  
"He is still sleeping. Would you like me to wake him up?"  
  
"Is that so.. well.. just let him sleep. Can you just give him this letter. I really want to talk to him but I don't want to bother him. And please tell him to see me to give me his response. I'm Mrs. Hellweger. He should already know me. I can't stay long so I have to get going."  
  
And with that she left. I wonder what she wants with Seifer. It sounds important.  
  
"(Yaawwnnnnn), Who is that?"  
  
I turned around to see Seifer, already awake.  
  
"Oh, so your up already. You just missed Mrs. Hellweger. She wants something from you but I thought your still asleep. Anyway, she asked me to give this to you."  
  
I hand him the envelope. Then he read it. I was getting concerned coz he's face is so serious.   
  
"Is there problem?"  
  
"N-no....", He obviously is hiding something. This time, I grabbed the paper in his hand and read what the letter says..  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
#4 BLK-A  
Hellweger's apartment  
Balamb Town  
11-03-01  
Dear Mr. Seifer Almasy,  
  
We would like to inform you that you currently have an unpaid overdue balance  
for two months (September-October) which have a total cost of 4,765 Gil.   
  
September (monthly) ------------ 700 gil  
Electrict Billing ---------------- 943 gil  
October (monthly)--------------- 700 gil  
Electrict Billing ---------------- 1536 gil  
Additional Expenses ------------- 556 gil  
__________  
4765 gil   
  
We do not tolerate long overdues so if you are unable to pay the said amount by  
Nov. 9 we have no choice but to sent you out of the apartment.  
  
We hope for you understanding.  
  
Mrs. Josie Hellweger  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I looked back at Seifer. He seems troubled.   
  
"I have 800 gil here, maybe it can help."  
  
"No... Rinoa, thanks, but I can't accept it. This is my problem." He said then turned away.  
  
I know he doesn't have that money. But funny it seems he never run out of money when buying me gifts. He's really thoughtful but he should have think of himself first. This is the only way I can repay him.  
  
He is still thinking of his steps.  
  
"Please, accept, it doesn't matter to me. This is my problem,too. And I get to live here also. So please...."  
  
"Even if I accept it, it still won't change.... Rinoa, we'll be sent out of here. The best you can do is to move back to Balamb Garden for a while until I get the enough money to pay for our accounts."  
  
(What?! He wants me to move there?)  
  
"I don't want to! What about you? You know they won't let you there! I can't just live you alone. And besides.. Squall is...."  
  
"Don't worry about him. He is not the commander anymore so you'll rarely see him. And I trust you, okay. And don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. This is the only way, Rinoa. Please....."  
  
His eyes is full of pleading. He already knows that this time will come. He has been having trouble paying his accounts lately. I know he'll hate to see Squall with me, but he knows that this is the only way.   
  
"Okay... but I'm not leaving without you. I'll tell the headmaster to let you there. Your'e a student. And i'll explain that you are not what they think you are."   
  
"Rin... I really appreciate it, but not everybody is understanding like you... They may still not believe me. But promise me, Rin... that even if I'm not accepted, your'e still gonna go."  
  
Tears fell from his eyes. It so obvious that he put me into his top priority. "Alright." I agreed but still hoping that he'll be accepted.  
  
----------  
  
We step inside the Balamb Garden early Monday morning. I can't believe I'm back here again. Of course, I have to continue my course if I have to stay here again. I left the Garden days ago without telling anybody. I know the headmaster will be surprise to see me again. Maybe he'll be furious for abandoning my studies. But I don't care. Seifer and I have to survive.   
  
We waited the elevator to take us to the 3rd floor. A chime told us we are finally there. We waited until the student signalled us to come inside the headmaster's office. Seifer just waited under the small elevator just below the bridge..  
  
I step inside the headmaster's office and saw Cid talking to someone over the phone. He turned to see who's his guest and greeted me with a surprise.  
  
"Martine, I'll call you back, I have some business here."  
  
He said ending his telephone conversation.  
  
"Ms. Rinoa Heartilly, its a surprise to see you. Where have you been?"  
  
I was about to tell him the truth when I hesitated.  
  
"Well, I had some problems, and decided to take a vacation some where. I'm really sorry, I wasn't able to tell you."  
  
"I see... but you could atleast ask permission. Nobody knew where you went. You had us all worried. But Zell said, you'll be fine. He seems to be the only one knowing your situation."  
  
Hearing Zell's name reminded me how much I miss him.   
  
"I'm sorry.. But now I'm back, and I want to resume my term."   
  
Eventhough I don't really have any plans of being a SeeD, I don't know what push me to study here in the first place right after we defeated Ultimecia. But now, I'm back here again asking to resume my studies.  
  
"I'm not sure Ms. Heartilly, you have already miss a lot from your batch. And knowing that you left made us cancel you term temporarily."  
  
"What?" My heat began to race. There's no more place we can stay. And eventhough this is not the best place, this is our only option. We have no money, no permanent home, no supplies, no anything. We can't afford to be turned away.  
  
"But please, Headmaster, I can repeat my term if you want, Just let me stay here again."  
  
My voice is full of desperation. I didn't realized I was almost crying. But I guess, the heamaster notice that. His face is full of pity.  
  
"Alright, I supposed we can bend the rules a little bit. Your'e no stranger to us Ms. Heartilly, we still you our credit for being one of the heroes who defeated Ultimecia. Bring your stuff to room 547 and I'll tell them its your new dorm assignment."  
  
I was so delighted afte hearing those words that I went to Cid and gave him a big hug. But I realized that my prolems is not yet over.  
  
"Uhmmm.... Headmaster, I know I'm asking too much but I would like to ask another favor." His expression changed to confusion. I don't if he's gonna like it.  
  
"What is it?"   
  
"You see, Seifer, has a problem paying his apartment bills coz he's salary isn't not enough to pay for his needs. So we.. rather he... was sent out for not being able to pay. I pity him so much and I was wondering if you could also give him a dorm. I know you still have doubts on him, but I promised that he's a changed man. After all, he's also a student here. But unlike the other students here, he has to pay for everything he needs. So it's a bit hard for him. Just please give him a chance. I know you'll not regret it."  
  
He didn't speak for a moment. I gave him a few seconds to think.  
  
"I'm surprised, you and Seifer had get along during your 'leave' in garden. But to actually think that Seifer can stay here, is a mistake. He's a problem child, causing mischief. He may be using you to get back here and do his his revenge on us. I once agreed to let him come back but, Squall, told me a lot of times, that Seifer will never change. And we should not risk anything for him. You know I have great faith for Squall."  
  
I'm surprised that Squall was behind all this. I don't really wanna here his name anymore.  
  
"I understand Headmaster, but I do believe that he deserves a second chance. I myself have witnessed his improvements. And I'm quite sure that he's not gonna let you down. If he has done anything that will break your trust again, then you can send him out as you wish. But please, just this once, let him stay."  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"Just right below us."  
  
"There is not much anything that you can't let me do. I'll give him a chance this time. And if any chaos or troubles happen, you know what I'm gonna do. You two can stay...."  
  
I proceed to him again and gave him another hug, this time, much tighter to show him my appreciation. Headmaster Cid really has a big heart.  
  
After I broke from my hug, he gave last instructions.  
  
"Go to Zell at the commander's office so that he can he give you the proper papers for your term. He's the new temporary commander. And he could help you as well as the room assignment for Seifer."  
  
I would like to ask him what happened to Squall being the commander. Seifer had mentioned that he's not the commander anymore. But didn't tell me why. But I hesitated asking Cid. I don't know why.. I feel I shouldn't care. But I do wanna know why.......  
  
"Alrighty!!"   
  
I smiled at him on last time before going back down to Seifer.  
  
"Well?!" Seifer asked me nervously.  
  
I tried to give him a little suspense but failed anyway. My mouth couldn't controlled itself out of excitement.  
  
"He let us in!!!"  
  
"Really?!!" Seifer hugged me then give me a quick kiss in the lips.  
  
"We should go to the commander's room."  
  
"Okay" he said giving his best smile.  
  
He put his arms around me then place it on my hips. As we walk the hall, I noticed a picture of a bunch SeeD's hanging on the wall.   
  
I saw Zell, my bestfriend... how I missed him. I'm so excited to see him again.  
  
Selphie and Irvine... the sweet couple. How I always envy them.  
  
Quistis, we don't get along. I wonder what she'll think when she sees me again.  
  
And lastly... Squall...... what could possibly happen. This is not my idea. but this is our only choice.. I'm back here I garden and somewhere along the way, we may cross paths again............  
  
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Now that Rinoa is back at Garden, what happens now? What is she sees Squall again??  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The update took me dayz... Sowee.. I know your not use to it..  
And sorry for the lame excuse on why they have to stay at Garden... hehehe  
I just need Rinoa to stay there again. So with the new plot... you know.........  
Stay tuned for Chapter 9!!  
and.....  
MORE REVIEWS!!!! :-) 


	9. Chapter 9: Welcome Back Rinoa

CHAPTER 9:  
Welcome Back Rinoa!  
  
RINOA  
"Goodnight Rinny..."  
  
Seifer gave me one last kiss before disappearing in the halls. This is my first night back in garden since I abandon this place days ago. I never thought I'm gonna come back here anymore. I can't help but think about Squall. The very same reason I left here in the first place. What would it be like when we cross paths again??   
  
The truth is, I don't really want to be back here. It will just remind me of the bitter memories that I'm trying to forget. I can't stop thinking knowing that he's just rooms away from me right now. The last day we spoke, I completely shut him out of my life. Hoping I'll never see him again to keep my feelings from coming back. But now, I know it will never come back….. Because it never left….  
  
How can I go on with my so-called life with Seifer if I'm living in the same place with HIM???  
  
I know I like Seifer. But is LIKE just the word to describe it???  
  
"Darn! Stop thinking about it. Of course, you love Seifer!" I scolded myself. And I'm gonna show that jerk Squall, that I'm over him……  
  
  
---------  
  
I checked myself one last time at the mirror before grabbing my keys then head outside my dorm room. I'm suppose to meet my friends at the cafeteria. Zell has already saw me yesterday at the commander's office. But I can't wait to see Selphie and Irvine's face when they see me there. (especially Quistis…. Wonder what she's gonna think.. but it doesn't matter anymore. She can have Squall for all I care.)  
  
I found Zell all alone sitting on our usual table.   
"Hey!", Zell turned away from his unfinished hotdog and greeted me back.  
"So where are the others?"  
"They're not yet here, where's Seifer?" He said trying so hard not look annoyed.  
"He's still asleep. I don't wanna wake him up."  
  
He looked around to see as if looking if the coast is clear. His face looked concern and serious. It looks like was having trouble telling me what he wanted to say.  
"Look, Rin.. don't take this the hard way but I can't say I agree with your relationship with Seifer. I mean… you know…"  
I'm not surprised at all with what Zell was saying. I mean he's a good friend. And he wants only the best for me. But he has to understand.  
"I know what you mean. But, I'll tell you. He changed. It's like a completely different Seifer! A better one. I know you two didn't get along before. But trust me. He totally has improved."  
  
Zell rolled his eyes. "Seifer? You gotta be kidding. He's the rudest person I've ever seen. I can't believe that you're saying that to me. After all what he had done to us? And you two… TOGETHER? You know that I don't like Squall for you, but compared to Seifer, Squall isn't so bad!"  
  
Zell's eyes are so serious as ever. I know that this might lead into one of those arguments.   
  
"Zell…. Please.. I know it's hard, but please try to understand. Seifer has changed. And I guarantee that to you. You'll see it or yourself. But all you have to do is to give him a chance. Please?? For me?"  
  
I look at him with pleading eyes hoping that it'll work on him.   
  
"Alright… For you Rin.. But, if he hurts you, don't stop me from kicking his ass, okay?"  
  
I just smiled then give him a kiss in the forehead hoping he did understand what that means.  
  
Suddenly, Selphie appeared outta nowhere.   
"Hey Zell! Who's the new girl?!" She said as if trying to surprise us.  
  
I turned around for her to see.   
Her eyes widened with surprise.   
"RINOA??!!!"  
She rushed to me and gave me a big hug.   
  
"When did you come back? And where have been anyway? Are you ok?"  
"Take it easy Selpie. I'm just fine. I miss you all so much!" I hugged her tightly as if not wanting to let go. True, I really miss them a lot. I haven't seen them for like months. It's great to be reunited with my friends.   
  
"Hey Rin, next time, tell us where ya goin', so we'll not get worried, ok?". Said Irvine from behind of Selphie. I gave him also a big hug. Irvine really knows how to comfort me.  
  
We sat down talking about what my life has been since I left Balamb.   
  
------  
  
Later on, I saw Seifer just entered the cafeteria. His head is turning as if looking for someone. Finally, he found what he's looking for. He heads for our direction. I smiled as he came closer. He gave me a quick kiss in the cheek. I saw Irvine and Selphie's expression. They were stunned!  
  
"Hey Zell, or should I say commander Zell. Hi Selphie, Irvine." He greeted. There was no sarcasm in his voice. The three of them just nod. (Zell, a bit surprised of course. It's like it's the first time Seifer had called him with his real name and not 'chicken-wuss') I motioned for him to sit right next to me. Selphie and the others were unusually quiet. They were not used to the presence of Seifer.   
  
Irvine voluntarily broke the silence.   
  
"So, how ya been?"  
  
"Well, I'm fine. The headmaster finally allowed me to stay here. And I was so glad to be back here. I mean after my problems in my apartment."  
  
No one replied with what he said. Obviously, everyone is feeling awkward and uneasy. Not sure of what possibly they could say to our former enemy. Luckily, a waitress came to our table to deliver another hotdog for Zell. We all laugh except Seifer. Zell surely hasn't changed. Seifer gave a puzzled expression.   
"You see, Zell really love hotdogs and basically, nothing can change that… even if he's the new commander…" Selphie informed him.  
We all laugh again… "Oh… I see."  
  
  
SQUALL  
"YAAAAAAWWWWNNNNNN!"  
I looked at my clock. It's already past 11 o'clock in the morning. My head still hurts from last night. I was so drunk that I don't even know how I got here in my room. Maybe Nida took me here. I figured.   
I realized I'm hungry. So I took a quick shower. The first one in seems like days.  
  
On my way to the cafeteria, I saw Nida. I waved at him. He looked at me as if I'm some kind of weird alien.   
  
"What's with you, men? Last night, you just screamed at me and shut me off. I definitely wouldn't want to start another fight with you." He shoved me away.  
"Sorry about that, look, I just want company while eating."  
  
"……. Okay, I'm hungry too." I know Nida couldn't resist when it comes to eating. Hehehehe...  
  
--------  
  
It felt good to finally make peace with my best friend. I realized last night that shutting off Nida wouldn't solve my problems and it will just make me lonelier. Maybe I lost someone important. But I can't afford to lose another important person such as my bestfriend.   
  
We went to the counter and order some food.   
  
"I'll just have hotdog sandwich, and hot chocolate." Nida told the lady behind the counter.  
  
"I'll have the same."  
  
Nida frowned.  
  
"You have a crush on me?"  
  
"What?! Get real, men!" I said leaving him wondering near the counter. Okay, maybe, I'm acting weird today. And so far, my temper hasn't really exploded yet. Which is totally unusual. But the guy is nuts. I'm not gay!  
  
Nida took the number the lady gave her then walk towards me. We went to our usual table. The cafeteria seemed to have a lot of people today. I looked around as we waited for our order to arrive. Everyone has their own gossips to share.  
  
I turned to Nida to talk. But it seems like he has his own thinking. Minutes later, I saw Quistis who of course, is followed by those so-called The Trepies. It looks like she wants them to get lost. Those trepies, especially the males are crazy for her, for some unknown reason. She always told me how irritated she is to them. I noticed that whenever we talk, she always bring that up to our conversation as if trying to tell me why couldn't I be in their place instead. I really hate her flirting style. Just not my type.  
  
Meanwhile, Quistis, after successfully get rid of her admirers, she went to our direction. She flashed her best smile then said.  
  
"Hi Squall, it's my turn to deliver papers to you." He handed me a one-inch thick bundle of papers.  
"The headmaster ask me to tell you to grade those test papers of the training SeeDs. He wants you to take care of them co'z according to him no one can determine a student with potential other than you Squall."  
  
Before going away, she gave me a wink. That woman just doesn't give up. I followed her with my eyes and think how pathetic of her to go after a man herself. She's not my type. Why can't she put that in her head?  
She went to her friends who are sitting of course in their table. But today, I noticed that they are rather many. Their table is more crowded than usual. I notice two unfamiliar figures sitting right next to Zell.   
(Oh well, why should I care?)  
But instead, I try to give them a clearer look.   
"What are you looking at?" Nida followed my view.  
"Don't tell me you're finally checking out Quistis."  
  
"No I'm not!"  
  
"Yeah right!" He teased.   
  
"Don't be ridiculous!" This time, I'm sure I was annoyed.  
  
But lucky for him, our order finally arrives. I could cause a scene here if he didn't stop bugging me.  
We both didn't say a word for a few minutes. I finished my meal without even talking to him. With my clumsiness, some ketchup dropped on my shirt causing a mess.  
I look for the tissue.   
  
There's no tissue!  
  
Drat! I stood up. "Just gonna get some tissue. I bring my hot chocolate with me. Took a sip….   
  
Wait a minute! I was looking at the direction of the counter. A familiar looking woman dressed in blue with long raven hair was standing talking to the lady.  
  
I dropped my chocolate as I realized that, that girl is……………  
  
  
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SQUALL finally saw RINOA!! What is he gonna do???  
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Well??? Tell me your comments please?   
Is it good?  
Must I continue??  
NO FLAMES PLEASE! Strictly…. Hehehe  
Anywayz… chapter 10 should be up soon so keep those reviews comin… 


	10. Chapter 10: Betrayal

CHAPTER 10:  
BETRAYAL  
  
  
SQUALL  
The first question that pop in my mind is...  
  
"WHY THE HELL IS SHE HERE??"   
  
Not that it's a bad thing. But I can't help but wonder, is this some kind of joke? I thought she's leaving me for good. I thought she wants nothing to do with me.   
  
But I decided that it might be better to look on the positive side instead. At least I get to be closer to her.   
  
"R-Rinoa… I-I…" Before I could finish my sentence, she began to walk away from the counter. I guess she didn't hear me. My eyes adjusted to the direction she was going. I completely forgot the reason why I left our table. I saw her made her way to the table where Quistis went earlier. There sat Selphie beside her beloved Irvine who sat beside Quistis who seems to be annoyed of the couple's presence. And across her was Zell in a serious mood. Rinoa chose the seat between Zell and some other guy. Right after Rinoa was comfortably seated, the guy beside her put his arms around her. I turned to see who the annoying guy is.   
  
Of course! Who else could it be?! I'm so stupid! It's Seifer!  
  
What the hell are they doing here in Garden? Why are they joining Zell and the others? And the most ridiculous sight of all is that it looks like the gang is going along with Seifer!   
  
(Well, atleast Selphie and Irvine are…)  
  
But come to think of it, they never showed me that kind of hospitality back in the days I was Rinoa's boyfriend. They were so cold and snobbish. And my relationship with them became worse when we're nearing the breaking up point.   
  
(Oh, C'mon Squall, why shouldn't they? They're her friends!)  
  
But somehow, I felt jealous… Zell still looks like he wants to develop his relationship with Seifer (for her friend's sake) eventhough Seifer is such a pain in his ass days before.  
  
But I gotta admit, Seifer looks like he had changed. His hair is now longer but still clean cut. His style of clothing is much much decent compared to his usual long white coat which made him look like a dangerous psycho man. Today, he's wearing plain gray fitted shirt revealing his muscular arms and chest. (That I'm sure, Rinoa is crazy of right now.) Aside from that he wears beige pants. If I hadn't look closely I wouldn't recognize him. He looks tamer.  
  
But it is still not a good reason to trust him…  
  
Rinoa…. Such beautiful sight. (Except of course the hand that is resting on her shoulder) How I wish I could just go there and kiss her like I used to.   
  
"Squall, what are you doing? You're supposed to get some tissue to wipe that stain on your shirt"  
  
Nida's voice brings me back to reality. I realized I was already far from the counter in which should be my destination.  
  
"I'm… I'm going to the bathroom."  
  
I left Nida again scratching his head.   
  
I tried so hard not to be notice by the couple as I made my way to the bathroom.   
  
I walked back and forth the bathroom figuring out what I should do. Rinoa's here in garden!  
  
(But with that jack-ass Seifer) How the hell can I go on seeing them together?   
  
I'm so stupid, damn it!! I shouldn't have let her go! Now that bastard is messing up with my girl! I couldn't forgive him! But what the hell can I do?! I'll just look like a jealous clown if I make a scene there.. Rinoa wouldn't talk to me.. Her friends hate me and they'll refuse to play the bridge for us. But knowing they're together kills me!  
  
What the hell….  
  
Then suddenly, an idea came in my head. Quistis…. She can play the part… I know the idea is so lame, but I couldn't think of anything more. After all, she has no trouble getting along with Rinoa, now.   
  
DAMN! What am I thinking?! Quistis will never do it. Besides, I know I'm asking too much if I ask her that. After how I treated her knowing she likes me.  
  
But then images of Rinoa and Seifer came into head.. Oh well, it's worth a try. Quistis is my only chance…  
  
I look at myself one last time at the mirror before reaching for the door handle. But it opens before I even pulled it.   
  
"Squall?"   
  
I found myself staring at Seifer.  
  
"S-Seifer?" I act as if I'm surprised to see him. "What are you doing here." (My chance to finally know why they're here.)  
  
"Well, as you know I used to live in an apartment in Balamb Town, but then I had some billing problems and cant afford to pay… I thought I was lost for a second but luckily, Rinoa tried to talk to Headmaster Cid about letting me stay here and fortunately he agreed and that's why were here."  
  
"Rinoa?" (Rinoa did that? For him? She's insane!)  
  
"Yeah.. oh, I forgot to tell you, She's my girlfriend, I heard things didn't go well for the two of you."  
  
"Really? I didn't know that.. Well I guess, Congratulations to both of you." (Yeah right, congratulations my ass!!)  
  
"You don't feel bad at all?"  
  
"Not at all. In fact I'm happy for you. This calls for a celebration." I force a weak smile, but I guess he didn't notice. (Darn! Why did I say that? If only I can tell him exactly what I feel. But he'll find out I still love her! DAMN!)  
  
"Hahaha.. no, it's okay. I like our relationship to be simple. I'm glad it's okay for you. Then I guess there's no more rivalry between us. Don't worry, I'll take care of her."  
  
"Alright.. Well, it's good running in to you. I have some business to take care of so if you don't mind, I have to be running along. Just good luck to both of you. Alright? Take care." (Hah! I curse that something bad happens to you! Rinoa is for me and I'll do everything to have her back! I can't let her be in your hands!)  
  
"Take care, too okay? Hope we can talk sometime, you know, like buddies."  
  
"Sure." I gave him an obviously force smile then continued walking out the bathroom.  
  
"Squall, what took you so long?" Nida asked with annoyance…  
  
"Nothing!" I walked away clenching my fist ready to punch anyone who stands in my way.  
  
  
RINOA  
"Rin.. how? Why? When?" Selphie asked immediately right after Seifer excused himself to go the bathroom.  
  
"It's a long story."   
  
"That's okay, c'mon tell us."   
  
I decided that there's no use hiding. Besides, they also have the right to know.  
  
"Okay, after Squall and I broke up, you know very well that I have to leave Balamb for a while. I decided that because I'm going through a lot of things. But that time, I have no place to go. But I was so determined to leave Balamb because I thought that there's no use staying here anyway. But out of nowhere, Seifer appeared to the scene. You know, while I was having those bad days. He was there for me. He promised to take care of me. And since I have no place to go, I asked him if I could stay at his place. And during my stay, I slowly began to like him. Then next thing I know, he's already my boyfriend. But we have to move back here because we can't afford to pay the bills in his apartment. Good thing, the headmaster allowed us. Then that's it."  
  
Zell and Quistis are so quiet. But Selphie looks like she had lots of questions to ask.  
  
"Wait a sec, you mean you stayed there in Seifer's apartment. And only the two of you…."  
  
I know what she had in mind but I know that Seifer never took advantage of me.  
  
"Relax, Selphie, nothing happened."  
  
"But how can you trust him so easily? I mean his our former enemy and all… and he made our lives a living hell!"  
Irvine wonders.   
  
"That's what I was trying to tell her." Zell suddenly blurted.  
  
"Guys, I know how you feel, but things had changed already. I myself have doubts at him at first, but I learned to like him because I saw his improvements. You know, I really pity him, because he told me that he's not sure if he can stay here after all he had done to us. He regretted it all. But he doesn't know if he can regain your trust. So please, let's give him our support. He felt really bad…"  
  
Zell, Selphie and Irvine give their 'Okays'. But I notice that Quistis never spoke a word since she arrived in here. I guess she is still irritated to me. She didn't even give me a warm welcome. She probably thinks that I may cause a border between her and Squall. But I have no intention to do that. I want to have a better relationship with Quistis. Squall and I are not together anymore so she should have nothing against me. I've got to talk to her, in private…  
  
"Hey guys, guess who I just run into." Seifer announced a loud after going to the bathroom.  
  
"I dunno, Sorceress Ultimecia?" Irvine joked.  
  
"Haha.. no! Actually it's Squall. I met him in the bathroom. We stayed for a little chit-chat until he has to go."  
  
I felt a gush of excitement upon hearing Squall's name. (Squall? So he's here in the cafeteria)  
I looked around looking from table to table hoping to see a sign of him. But didn't.  
  
"So what did you talk about? Hope the two of you didn't lead to another argument." Selphie asked excitedly.  
  
"No. Actually, I think we'll be good friends. I break him the news that Rinoa and I are finally together."  
  
He gave me another kiss in the cheek upon saying that. "Then?" I asked him nervously hoping to know what Squall's reaction is.  
  
"He's happy for the two us. He even congratulated me. Squall is such a good guy." Seifer told us not noticing the pang of hurt in my eyes. (Happy? I thought he wants us to get back together?) That is not the answer I'm expecting Seifer to say. I somehow expected that Squall would say some life-threatening words to Seifer. But I guess I was wrong. He didn't care for me. As for that coming to Seifer's apartment, that's nothing but mere acting. Why do I even expect something from that guy? I'm a fool if I do that.  
  
Wait.. I shouldn't feel affected with what he says. I shouldn't at all. Why would I. We're through. And I'm the one who finishes whatever is connecting to us.  
  
I was in a daze for a while that I can't even understand what they're talking about. Quistis looking bored and annoyed at the same time. She excused herself a while ago. But it seems like no one noticed her left.  
  
Me? Still thinking what Seifer had said…  
  
  
SQUALL  
Damn! The hell does he think he is?!!!   
  
Rinoa is my GIRL!   
  
Grrrr! He makes my head hurt. I bet he's intentionally trying to make me jealous! DAMN HIM!!!!  
  
I punched the wall in my room so hard. But it didn't even budge. My fist is so red because of the impact in the wall. But I didn't feel its pain. The pain in my heart is too much to bear.  
  
I want to talk to Rinoa so bad! But I don't know how. And I don't know if she'll let me….  
  
----  
  
That night, I drown my sorrows in a bottle of beer with a picture of Rinoa and me in my hand.   
  
"Hey Squall, what's wrong with you? With the looks on your face, it looks like someone just died."  
  
Jake the beer guy is irritating as ever. Why can't he just mind his own business?  
  
"Oh I know what's the matter! Women! Right?"  
  
Once again I didn't respond. I don't want to pay any attention with what he has to say.  
  
He handed me another glass of beer seeing that my glass is almost empty. He spots the picture in my hand.   
  
"Hahaha.. See? I'm right! Thinking of that Rinoa again? Dude, your wasting your time on her! There are plenty of girls here in the bar. You can pick anyone of your choice instead of that girl! She's already taken by another guy! The important thing is, you have already made full use of her body the time she is still with you! Right? That's all that matters!"  
  
What does this guy know? I love Rinoa!! I just want him to shut up because obviously, he's not helping at all!   
  
"I heard she's really good in bed! Hahaha! That Seifer sure is more than happy to have her now! With those big boobies and perfect figure! I'd give anything to have her in my bed! I bet she and Seifer is doing it right now! You know what I mean? Hehehehe! He sure is lucky… you know how hot Seifer is for the women. Hahahahahaha!"  
  
I wasn't able to control my temper. I gave Jake a punch so hard that almost ruined his face! I can't stand listening to him! I gave another punch. But some men from the bar rush to stop me. They drag me outside until I was kicked out of the bar. They wouldn't let me in.  
  
That bastard!!  
  
My head doesn't stop hurting! Thanks to that Jake. I walked my way to Balamb.   
  
**" That Seifer sure is more than happy to have her now! With those big boobies and perfect figure! I'd give anything to have her n my bed! I bet she and Seifer is doing it right now! You know what I mean? Hehehehe! He sure is lucky…"**  
  
I clenched my fist again upon remembering those words!!  
  
I pictured Seifer and Rinoa having sex in Seifer's dorm.  
  
DAMN!!  
  
I've got to stop my imagination!  
  
But instead, more images appeared on my mind… Shit!!   
  
What if they're really having sex right now?! Of course they are!! DAMN!!!!  
  
I'm so furious that when a man bumped into me, I almost kill him. I'm so angry at the world. I wouldn't forgive myself if that happens.   
  
When I reached the front door in Balamb I slammed it so hard behind me that the other students eyed me surprisingly that the former commander behaves this way.  
  
Seifer.. I'm gonna kill you…. (I wish I could!)  
  
My emotion is a mixture of pain, jealousy, regret, angst, and disappointment.  
  
I didn't realize that I was heading to Quistis office. Good, she's here.  
I don't know if what I'm about to do is right. But the hell do I care!   
  
Quistis, looks surprised at the same time, glad with my presence.  
  
"Quistis… kiss me!"  
  
"What?" She asked me hoping that I didn't have a mistake with my words.  
  
I moved next to her and I did something I never expected I'd do to her.  
  
I kiss her hoping it will erase everything. She kissed back like this is something she's been waiting for all her life. I kissed her until I reached her neck. Then tore her blouse then kiss what's beneath it. But somehow, when I look at Quistis, all I can see is Rinoa's face….  
  
  
RINOA  
My heart beat louder each step I take. I decided that this would be the time that I have to clear things out between Quistis and me. Ever since I came into view, she lost her chance of happiness. She's been cold towards me, starting from the day I stepped into Squall's life. But things have changed now. And she still doesn't like me. I want to form a special bond between us. I know that she might not be happy with my arrival here. But I just want her to know that I'm not here because I want to destroy her life again.   
  
The first time she saw me earlier this morning, I noticed that she was having a beautiful day till she saw my face then once again, black clouds gather before her. She saw my presence here in Balamb as a threat between her and Squall whether or not Squall and I are still together.  
  
But I'm tired of pretending that we get along just fine but at the back of our minds, we hate each other. I have to fix this.  
  
I looked up the door trying to check if I'm going in the right room.  
  
It says "Quistis Trepe office". I turned the knob slowly then opened it.  
  
I know she'll be surprise….  
  
But when I looked inside the room… I'm the one who was surprised!!!  
  
I found SQUALL LEONHART and QUISTIS TREPE half-naked making out in the table!  
  
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What's gonna happen now?? Gosh, Squall, you're so stupid!  
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What do you think.. pleaseee tell me!!! Reviews!! And more REVIEWS!!!  
Should I continue??  
  
Sorry guys for some error.. I've been really busy and rarely find time to write. And   
When I do, I have to finish one chapter, within an hour! That's why I don't have much time   
To check for errors…  
Can you believe that??  
Anywayz.. Expect me to be much busier this June coz I have a lot to do…  
I don't have to tell you in details but please understand if the following chapters will take  
A long time to update.   
But I promise to do it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE…   
  
Thanx for all your reviews!!! I really appreciate ALL OF THEM!!  
  
So keep reviewing, K?  
  
Wait for the next chapter!!! 


	11. Sinking Realization

Chapter 11 - Sinking Realization  
  
angel-hart  
  
AN: Guys, I'm really really really really really SORRY for the loooooooooooooooooooooooong delay. I really had a lot of trouble this past 2 months........ Well, let me tell you about it, first, there is a malfunction on my monitor and it needs to be repaired. The process took a month and a week... Imagine that????!!!!!!!!! I wasn't able to use the computer for that long!!!!!!! Not only that, my schedule is so busy that I dont have spare time.. You know, school stuff.. Classes just started last June, and damn!! Im so busy!! That maybe the reason why I got sick. I got sick just before the exams that's why I wasn't able to catch up with the lessons. And so I have to make for the lost time. I even failed 2 tests!! Sheesh!!! What a luck!! Luckily now, I was able to find the time.. I really really sorry if it took me almost 3 months to update my fic. Well, I hope you still keep on supporting and reading my fic. I adjusted my schedule now so as not to dissappoint you, my dear readers... I promise to update it asap.. Expect it to be in atleast 3 weeks or less, ok??! See yah!!!!  
  
And please, keep those reviews, comin!!!!!!!!!!  
  
-^,^- This story is dedicated to Stacy and rukawa's honey! -^,^-  
  
*Disclaimer - I DO NOT own FINAL FANTASY VIII. I'm just borrowing it!  
  
RINOA My first reaction was shock and then tremendous pain. I watched them making out on Quistis Trepe's desk. I watched them for as long as I could...I lasted a minute just for the record. I couldn't take it anymore, somewhere within me it's saying, "Seifer can't replace Squall and you ought to know that." I fled to my room and kept the tears in my eyes still. I won't let them fall till I get to my room. I got to my room and flopped back on my bed, I sought comfort from my stuff toys. The incident kept replaying in my mind.  
  
"He's probably doing it because he's lonely.he needs someone like me. or maybe he just wanted to make out."  
  
In the end I just kept crying, as if everything back from the day they broke up till today happened just a second ago. Everything seemed so fresh in my memory. I hugged my knees; I said to myself "It's all over now."  
  
SQUALL I thought I could forget her. But no.pictures of her kept fleeting in my mind. I kissed Quistis harder. I heard her moaning beneath me. Apparently, she was enjoying and I was NOT. It's like I'm physically present yet mentally absent. I abruptly pulled from Quistis.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For this."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"It's just a big slip-up.I hope you understand me."  
  
"I understand you. I know you love her so much. listen although it's hard for me to accept, but you're out of my league, no one will be the same as Rinoa.I'm going to help you get her back. Is it okay?"  
  
"Thanks.Quistis."  
  
"It's no big deal. Just remember your friends are always there for you. I'll always be there for you."  
  
RINOA I barely slept a wink last night. I feel even worse than last night. I glanced at my alarm clock. It read 11:30 a.m. I crawled out of bed and took a shower. I decided to go to the library. As I was going to the Library I saw Squall coming out.  
  
"I guess the library is not an option." I muttered.  
  
I went to the cafeteria. I sat on our usual table with Zell, Quistis. Selphie, and Irvine. Seifer was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Where's Seifer?"  
  
"Cid wanted to talk to him." Quistis filled me in.  
  
She's actually smiling at me.for a change. Then her gaze averted from me to the entrance of the cafeteria.  
  
"Squall! Over here!" Quistis waved.  
  
Squall approached the table. Everyone greeted him except me.  
  
I stood up. "I'm going to the library ok?"  
  
"Rinoa, please stay. Give me at least five minutes to talk."  
  
I didn't say a word.  
  
"Please." He said while looking straight into my eyes.  
  
"Alright. Just FIVE MINUTES."  
  
SQUALL "Rinoa, first of all I want to apologize for everything. I've been a jerk.I know that.can you forgive me?"  
  
"Are you sincere?"  
  
"Yes. It's you I've been thinking about every single night. I can't sleep knowing that I let you go and it's my loss."  
  
"Or maybe you had a HOT NIGHT with some slut." Rinoa said icily.  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"And now you have the nerve to lie in front of my face?! I'm not stupid! I saw with my own two eyes. You and Quistis last night in her office."  
  
"I was with her, yes, because I thought she could replace you. But I was wrong no one could. I realize you're the one."  
  
Tears started forming in her eyes.  
  
RINOA He never told me things this personal before. It was like a whole new Squall. Tears started forming in my eyes. They threatened to spill. I let them. He brushed them away. There was a moment of silence. His hand was on my face "Rinoa I love you so much I can't bear losing you." "What are you meaning to say?" "I want you to give me another chance."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------ What will happen now?? Will Rinoa allow Squall back into her life? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------  
  
AN: Please keep on reviewing! I will continue the story as soon as possible and I PROMISE it won't be as long as this one was!!!! Again, Please keep sending your reviews!!! 


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